A good house wife

The past two months we have been on a grand adventure. We finally learned how our lives would be when I started teaching come fall. I took an interim position at a local high school for 7 weeks teaching biology. It began on January 3 when everyone came back from Christmas break and ended last Friday, February 22.  What I learned from my experience is that I miss the middle schoolers! If I could teacher chemistry or biology to middle schoolers I most definitely would. This experience helped me see what kind of teacher I currently am and what I want to become. How do I want to do things? How do I want my students to behave? How do I want to be treated when it comes to my own classroom?

 We  realized how much we cherish time with each other. Now, this was close to student teaching but on a much grander scale. With Allen working second shift (2-10) our time together is valuable. It was more hard on me than him. The way he explained it was this. He sleeps all day until about noon, gets up and ready, works from 2-10, comes home unwinds until 2 or 3 in the morning then goes to sleep. There is no real down time for him to think about it. Now for me, its a completely different story. Get up at 6, get ready and out the door for school until 4:30, come home cook dinner (or not) and clean up a little (or not), then down time until 9 almost every day. So there is plenty of time for me to get lonely and it took a major tow on our relationship. The past few days I haven't been able to get enough of him and now he says I can be a housewife which means that everything stays clean and tidy, dinner is waiting when he gets home and I am not so grumpy anymore. We will see how that goes. :)

I am still learning that God has his reasons and timing for everything. One thing I am not good with is turning things over to Him. I like control and holding onto everything. But I realized something i guess about December (yes it took that long), once I gave our fertility issues over things began to change. He placed a new doctor at our feet and she actually knows what PCOS is and how to actively treat it. Her first words weren't "The only way to treat it is by you losing weight." She looked at me as a person. She looked at Allen and I as a couple wanting answers. She got my PCOS under control and is now helping us trying to begin writing the next chapter in our book of life. I think God was waiting for us to come back to Him and let go of the hold of control that was so tight for so long.

tiny voices

I was on my way to work Thursday night and  having a hard busy week. I was tired, stress, and just thinking about all the things that I needed to do for the up and coming conferences. Turning on the radio on Way FM and Melissa and Matt were talking about how God does things and we don't even realize it that he is playing a part in them. Then Mandisas' "Stonger" came on. It's not like I haven't heard it come on before but have you REALLY LISTENED? And it got me to thinking about everything that has happened the past 8 years.

 

A few weeks ago after the PCOS diagnosis, I felt like I was drowning. First the tumor, then epilepsy, the miscarriage, now the PCOS. What next? But after listening to their conversation and truly listening to Her song I was enlightened. Finding out about the PCOS was a God thing. Without finding out about it, we wouldn't know we couldn't have children, why I couldn't loss weight and find the reason for our loss.  I already have an amazing God story from my brain tumor and the seizures.  

Today, I got my 8 year MRI results. Still the same a the day after surgery. One more year down not sure how many to go. I am a stronger person than I was 8 years ago even if the storms seemed impassable until now.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6