Growing up

 

My little sister and I are four and a half years apart.

We shared a room for 16 years and, at the time, hated every minute of it.  We tried everything to have our own separate spaces. Did the bunk bed thing and took them apart more times than I can remember.  Duck taped down the middle of the room so we each had separate halves (didn't really work).

                   

                              

I guess it didn't really hit me that I would miss sharing that tiny room until I moved out and got married. I missed sharing that room with her. I would miss all the fun times we had in that room. Like making a hammock on the side of the bunk bed (BAD IDEA!!!). Putting stuffed animals on the fan and seeing how far they would fly. Convincing our brother to jump off the bunk bed (another bad idea). All the bad ideas we had that were turned into fun memories.

 Now, we're all grown up (well almost). She's leaving for the Navy and I couldn't be prouder of her. Yeah, we have had our bad times as all sisters do but through it all she has always been one of my best friends.

In sickness and in health

As 2014 is knocking on my door, it makes me remember how 2013 turned out. We got both of a precious babies, Bella and Kirk. We bought our first house. Allen got a new job. We lost my grandfather to a stage 4 brain tumor. I got a new car. Allen and I grew close together than the year before. We have truly been blessed this year beyond belief. 

The past few weeks have been probably the most emotionally and physically draining this year. A week and a half before Christmas, I went to the doctor with intense abdominal pain. She did a xray of my spleen and colon and they both looked fine. Two weeks worth of two different antibiotics and we were on our way back home. Two days of vomiting and nausea and a ultrasound later, they discovered "spots" on my liver and waited for the radiologist to make the next move. Before we could get the doctors instructions of what to do next, I was at the ER with the pain again. This time it was in my back and abdomen and nothing I could do could relief it. 3 hours and a CT later we find out the cause of my pain: inflamed intestines. She saw the spots on my liver but wasn't as consurned. Could be fatty spots or calcium deposits but were a big deal. Inflamed intestines usually mean IBD (irritable bowel disease). 

Ordered to rest and change diet until appointment with GI next week. 

Christmas Eve, had an appointment with the gastroenterologist.  Because of the family history, she ordered a colonoscopy and endoscopy for the following week. If you've never had a colonoscopy before it was an experience like no other. You have to drink this stuff the night before that for better words, clears you out. It is an awful mixture of salt water and cough syrup that I had to gag down not once but twice. You can only have a clear liquid diet. So I spent the day with wonton soup(no wontons), jello, and butter scotch hard candies. At least that was the worst part of the whole experience. 

After all was said and done, the dr said it went very well. Imflamation had receded, no polyps to biopsy or signs of Chrons disease. They took some samples to biopsy and test for Celiacs and to check for microscopic colitis. 

Glad to have some answers and glad that part is over with. Hopefully won't have to have another one of those for another 26 years. 

We are praying that 2014 is going to be our turn around year. That I will get the right job that God has for me. That my health will bounce back. That our marriage will continue to blossom more next year. 

If you actually finished reading, you deserve a cookie. 

a prayer for me

As I sit here in my warm comfy chair and watch the rain/sleet coming down I realize that I have to go out. I can hear the sound of it hitting the back door but other than that, udder silence. The dogs are down for their afternoon nap and it's almost as if no one is home. I know one day I will pray for silence such as this. Praying for the moment that I can sit in this comfy chair and be by myself and write in peace and quite.

The past few weeks have been crazy busy but I have found a few days to myself. Allen's Birthday was the second week of November. I got him Predators tickets and he went to the Mighty Men's Conference up in Nashville with our church. Even though the women couldn't go, well I mean I guess we could go just would have gotten some weird looks, but even though it wasn't for us we were secretly watching. Well, probably not "secretly" but my husband didn't know I was watching. Yes, it was catered to men but I got a lot out it too. At the end, Angus was praying and started praying for the sick. Those with high blood pressure, depression, and many other illnesses. He then mentioned those facing infertility. Allen and I both said he was speaking to us. Angus prayed that whatever was causing the infertility that it would be lifted and God would grant us the family we had been praying for and the desires of out heart. Many people, friends and family, came to me and said that they had watched the conference and immediately thought of us.

When I see/hear/read people complain about being pregnant or their babies/children it makes me upset and sad for them. They don't know what a special gift they have.  Yeah, I know they can been stressful and a headache but they are your headache. Be thankful everyday for your children born or not. Be thankful that you were able to be pregnant easy or not.  Be cautious of what you post on facebook because you don't know that it might offend someone reading it.

Food for Thought,

Breakfast of champions

I, like so many people, am addicted to Pinterest. Finally a place that my plans/ideas/recipes can be saved so I, like most people, won't forget them.

This mornings pinteresting breakfast was scrumptious. Cinnamon Rolls! Even though they were gluten free they tasted like they came from Cinnabon. Below is her website with the recipe. She eve has a video when it comes time to roll them. 

http://recreatinghappiness.com/breakfast-recipes/gluten-free-cinnabon-copycat-cinnamon-roll-recipe-updated-and-now-easier-to-make/

This recipe is going to be a definite "make again".

Going gluten free

Since August, my household has gone gluten free. Well, Allen is on board at home but outside of the house it's wheat overload. The first few weeks were the hardest. But then they would be for any lifestyle change. Learning what has gluten and what doesn't. Cleaning out the pantry and fridge. Learning to grocery shop more often. Keep more fresh stuff than we did. Not saying we ate horrible but definitely a lot of gluten. 

I am enjoying trying new recipes especially the sweeter ones. Last week I made white chocolate walnut chocolate chip cookies.

They were delicious if I do say so myself and so did everyone who tried them. If Allen eats anything gluten free it must be pretty good. So finally, here is the recipe once I remembered all what I put in. 

Ashely's white chocolate Walnut chocolate chip cookies

1 1/2 cups rice flour

1/2cup potato starch

1/4cup tapioca starch

1 teaspoon Xanthan gum

1 teaspoon backing powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2-1 cup chocolate chips

1/2-1 cup white chocolate chips

1 package of chopped walnuts or pecans

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Combine flour, potato starch, tapioca starch, baking powder, baking soda, salt, Xanthan gum. Set aside.

Combine soften butter, brown sugar and sugar in bowl. Beat at medium speed until creamy. Add eggs and vanilla. Gradually add flour mixture, beating until well mixed. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts. 

Drop dough with table spoon two inches apart. Bake 9-12 minutes until light golden brown. Let stand 1-2 minutes. 

Packing up

Last December, we were coming up to our lease expiring on our apartment. Not having a place to move to or any idea where to move, we renewed for another 6 months. Come February, I began getting kind of antsy. Only 4 more months and we haven't even began looking. Of course, Allen is like no big deal. "It will all work out" he says. It wont work out if we don't start looking and end up on the side of the street. So, we begin looking. We intended on renting again since I didn't have a permanent teaching job yet, but God had different plans. 3 months later we are only a few weeks from buying our first house.

So, while I am working in the nursery 18 hours and the WISTEM Progams Director for the summer 20 hours a week, I am suppose to pack up everything that has accumulated in our tiny apartment this past year and a half. And search for jobs. Can't forget about that.

 If you know Allen and I at all, you know how much we love kids. Ever since I was little I wanted to be a mommy. Just ask my own, she will tell you. We have been praying for God to give us that gift for quite a while. We have been praying for over a year that my health would be restored for us to be able to be parents. After being so persistent, we were kind of smacked in the face with reality. I guess we weren't listening very well and that's what it took to get our attention. We told that our chances of having a child is slim to none was devastating. I cried and cried not understanding. It made me sick. I know God has plans and obviously our plans are not exactly lining up with his. What now? We go on. Go into teaching this fall. Allen starts his new shift and goes back to school. and when it's Gods timing, it will happen.

Losing my mind

I can definitely say without a doubt that God has a major plan for my life. Through the cancer, MRIs, seizures, hospital stays, medications, horrible teen age years, and the PCOS; He has always been there even though I don't always see it.

 The past few weeks or so have been a real trial of faith for both of us. We found out my neurosurgeon of 9 years is moving to Pensacola, Florida to join the Sacred Heart Children's Hospital and build their pediatric neurosurgery program. I know..... It for a good cause and he has other children that need his help now. If you know me, I am not good with change and it resulted in lots of tissues and doing absolutely nothing. So, it has not been an easy transition to grasp the thought of having to get a new doctor. 

Since the surgery, my academic abilities are no where to where they were before. But, I graduated with a great GPA and got into college. 5 1/2 years later and a B.S. in chemistry and biology and I am going to be a teacher. Little did we know what affects the seizures and the tumor will have years later. 

Well, it's years down the road and I have lost/losing bits of my memory. Childhood memories, when Allen and I were dating, but the biggest thing is most of my Chemistry information. I was suppose to take my Chemistry praxis test to get my liscence to teach but I can't remember anything. I have tried reteaching from chapter 1 but it is all a foreign language. Doctor said it could come back but studies show it only gets worse. I know that God is the miraculous healer. If I am meant to remember it then it will all come back. If not, then this is where we are and I will be a great biology teacher.